Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
