The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
