Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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