I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
