he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Panties = found
Randomize
