On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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