hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
