If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I will pee on everything he values.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
