ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
