genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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