Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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