In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
