that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
