Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
