her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
