I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
