Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
