Buhtt sex?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
