return my video game
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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