you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
