is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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