In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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