So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize
