the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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