Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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