And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
