does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
