It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
