She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
where are you?
Hypothermia
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
