Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
