Barsexuality is the new black.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
