Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
