Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Of course I have a pirate flag
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
