is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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