and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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