I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
