if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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