the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
