i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
