So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
