I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
In America we eat man semen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think my moral compass just broke
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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