I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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