..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
