OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Boobs are out for the taking
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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