She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
