She went from zero to smokin in five shots
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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