we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
