the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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