New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
They took my balls.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
