i was born a porn star she said
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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