stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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