Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
