Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
